Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think my fart just growled at me.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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