there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
