walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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