If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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