She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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