I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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