I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
PANTIES FOUND
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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