watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
