I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We smell like vodka and hangover
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