Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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