your thong is hanging out like whoa
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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