I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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