Well douche your snatch and let's go!
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
