when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
