hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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