What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
