Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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