"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
