This girl is more easily done than said...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
