used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
