Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
