You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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