I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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