Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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