Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
