Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
