I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
