I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
