This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
