He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
