You just made me feel so damn special
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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