as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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