Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize