Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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