In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
