just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
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I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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