somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
