Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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