Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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