I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
