I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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