Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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