I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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