Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
