he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
