There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
