Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
