Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize