2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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