There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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