I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
