I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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