i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
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I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
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When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
This toilet bowl is my home.
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