the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
