I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
