I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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