I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
