I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
of course. lets lasso hookers.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
