i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
