when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
